eat|drink|snark

postslikejagger

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 04:22:18 -0800

postslikejagger

You wouldn’t know it from the picture, but this is from a...

Sun, 01 Jan 2012 20:14:39 -0800

You wouldn’t know it from the picture, but this is from a Tumblr called “How to Talk to Girls at Parties.”

animalstalkinginallcaps: HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY, I’M...

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 13:32:05 -0800

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY, I’M LISA. TODAY ALL OF OUR SOUP IS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE WITH YOUR SAFEWAY CLUB CARD. IT’S FREE TO SIGN UP AND YOU CAN SAVE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR OFF OUR ALREADY LOW PRICES. JUST HEAD OVER TO GUEST SERVICES AND FILL OUT OUR SIMPLE-

OR TOTALLY IGNORE ME. THAT’S COOL TOO.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY, I’M LISA. TODAY ALL OF OUR SOUP IS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE WITH YOUR SAFEWAY CLUB CARD IT’S FREE TO SIGN UP AND YOU CAN SAVE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR OFF OUR ALREADY LOW-

OR NOT. WHATEVER. THANKS FOR SHOPPING SAFEWAY. I HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE, YOU KNOW. FIFTY GRAND IN DEBT. WORKING AT THE SUPERMARKET. NO BIG DEAL.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY. PLEASE KILL ME I’M LISA. TODAY ALL OF OUR SOUP IS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE WITH YOUR SAFEWAY CLUB CARD …

Also: KITTEH IN THE SUPERMARKET! LOVE!

animalstalkinginallcaps: HELLO AND WELCOME TO JAMBA JUICE....

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 12:22:06 -0800

animalstalkinginallcaps:

HELLO AND WELCOME TO JAMBA JUICE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY ONE OF OUR NEW AWESOME APPLE CINNAMON WHIRL’NS?

I’M JUST FUCKING WITH YOU. THIS IS A CHAIR AND I’M YOUR DOG. HOW WAS WORK?

Holy overkill, Batman! (P.S. I can haz one?)

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 11:22:05 -0800

Holy overkill, Batman!

(P.S. I can haz one?)

whitewhine: “I can’t focus on Regis’ farewell…”

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:38:05 -0800

whitewhine:

“I can’t focus on Regis’ farewell…”

waytoomuchportland: Santacon NoPdxAnticon is December 3! Oh,...

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 12:23:05 -0800

waytoomuchportland:

Santacon NoPdxAnticon is December 3!

Oh, Portlandia. You’re ADORABLE.

animalstalkinginallcaps: THERE’S A DEAD BODY IN THE GARAGE? HOW...

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:23:05 -0800

animalstalkinginallcaps:

THERE’S A DEAD BODY IN THE GARAGE? HOW WEIRD! WELL, YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WANDERING AROUND AND DYING AND STUFF! NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, THAT’S FOR SURE! NO MA’AM! I’VE JUST BEEN IN HERE READING ALL DAY! ANYHOW, HOW ABOUT THIS WEATHER, HUH? I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SNOWING BY NOW! RIGHT?

… AM I RIGHT?

wallofdis: Stuff that made me LOL on the streets of Berlin...

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:25:59 -0800

wallofdis:

Stuff that made me LOL on the streets of Berlin today, because UNNECESSARY ALL-CAPS and things that would make 12-year-old boys laugh apparently is my threshold for humor.

The world awaits her first sighting of something with the word FAHRT in it. I predict snort-laughing. (Why? Because that’s what I do. Every. Single. Time. Hello, I am 12.)

knowyourmeme: NEED KYMdb - Push Button Receive...

Fri, 25 Nov 2011 17:29:25 -0800

knowyourmeme:

NEED

KYMdb - Push Button Receive Button

I’d learn to drive if cars did this.

You had us at Tom Selleck, waterfalls and sandwiches. The whole...

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 15:00:17 -0800

You had us at Tom Selleck, waterfalls and sandwiches.

The whole velvet painting thing is just a cherry on the sundae of our mirth.

Photo

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 14:18:09 -0800

inothernews: PHOTO / HOP A rabbit jumps over a hurdle at an...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:55:06 -0700

inothernews:

PHOTO / HOP A rabbit jumps over a hurdle at an obstacle course during the first European rabbit hopping championships in Wollerau, Switzerland. (Photo: Harold Cunningham / Getty Images via the Telegraph)

WHAT.

wallofdis:jennabee:thewordunheard This week’s patron...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 04:58:31 -0700

wallofdis:jennabee:thewordunheard

This week’s patron saint.

allikazoo:jewles: ARE YOU SERIOUS WENDY?

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 02:59:14 -0700

allikazoo:jewles:

ARE YOU SERIOUS WENDY?

bellacultura: Cuba Life by Alexander Myslivets(Cuba) This...

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 08:15:23 -0700

bellacultura:

Cuba Life by Alexander Myslivets
(Cuba)

This week’s patron saint.

everqueer: Some jerk sent us two boxes of this awful book...

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:05:05 -0700

everqueer:

Some jerk sent us two boxes of this awful book (SPOILER ALERT: George Washington - Patriot; George Soros - Pinhead) instead of anything soldiers at a remote outpost in Afghanistan might need, like, say, food or soap. Just burned the whole lot of them on my Commander’s orders.

mrenzulli: (via You know you want to knit a sweater for a...

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 12:05:06 -0700

mrenzulli:

(via You know you want to knit a sweater for a penguin | Grist)

Okay, no. I’d rather just have the sweater-wearing penguin as a pet. Or a mascot. Yeah, it’s really more of a mascot thing.

npr: The great thing about ugly and/or mortifying cakes is that...

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 11:00:06 -0700

npr:

The great thing about ugly and/or mortifying cakes is that people keep making them, and then buying them, and then eating them (maybe), and then making more. That’s what keeps Jen Yates in business. (via ‘Wreck The Halls’: Explore The Terrifying, Hilarious World Of Holiday Baking : Monkey See)

Photo credit: Andrews McMeel

SUPER BOWEL.

stumptownmag: Portland. Thank zod they said...

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 11:00:05 -0700

stumptownmag:

Portland.

Thank zod they said “almost.”